It is way past midnight. The whole world around me is silent.
All is calm and quiet and here I am, standing beside the window of my room,
looking out into the darkness ahead. Sleep seems to have eluded me tonight.
Lights are out. The neighborhood is asleep. And there is
absolute silence all around me. I can see the silhouette of the huge mango tree,
its leaves casting eerie shadows in the adjoining wall. I can see my neighbor’s
house devoid of any light, standing aloof in the darkness. I can breathe in the
cool, still air as I stand looking out of the window. The night seems to be
wholly mine, and I am aware of a deep sense of solitude as I stand there in my
room, looking out into the all-enveloping darkness…A lone speck of silvery dot in the sky catches my attention… a tiny star, all alone, twinkling away merrily without a care in the world. I have always found pleasure in watching stars, and for a long time I gaze at it, as various thoughts keep entering my mind… some happy, some sad. Gradually, in tune with my breath, I am aware of a deep stillness within me and ultimately I realize that it is just me and that far away star at this specific point in time. I keep staring at its steady flicker for a very long time, and slowly, I am filled with a deep level of peace and contentment… a feeling that I am complete. Being alone can also be about enjoying loneliness.
Some childhood mythological stories are permanently etched in
my mind and the lone, twinkling star brought to me vivid memories about Prince Dhruva
who meditated upon Lord Vishnu after he and his mother were ignored and cast
aside by his father at the insistence of his stepmother, Suruchi. My sensitive
childhood heart had profusely grieved for prince Dhruva while reading the particular
story in Amar Chitra Katha. It just seemed so unfair for a small boy to be
treated so by his father. But Lord Vishnu heard his prayers, granted him a boon
and he was made a star after his death… the pole star or the Dhruva Nakshathram.
That was when I used to think if I too would become a star after my death. But
then, as a child, death was too terrible and scary a thing to think of…
The night sky has rewarded me for giving it company this
night, by revealing a flock of white, migratory birds flying in their typical
formation. What a beautiful sight! Never knew birds migrated in the darkness.
Wish I too could fly freely like them.. to wherever my desires beckoned.
There could be something absolutely magical about a lonely,
sleepless night. I am reminded of the countless Enid Blyton books I read as a
child. Books filled with fantasies, fairies, magical elves and pixies who
danced and partied in gardens, sitting on tiny toadstools, invisible to older
human eyes. Growing up has certainly taken a whole lot of magic from my life.
But I am glad that tonight I got a chance to relive a bit of those wonderful
moments to realize the mysticism of a lovely, alluring night.
My eyelids are growing heavy and with a deep sense of
happiness and gratitude, I bid goodbye to the little star which is still
twinkling away in the lone night sky. I know my dreams are going to be happy
tonight. 
